Since you've been gone
by wallowinthehallow
Summary: After Luke breaks her heart in the market can a phone call weeks later make a difference?


**I own nothing...if I did they would still be together. **

**Since you've been gone.**

It had been weeks since they had spoken. Weeks without sleep, or any peace of mind for Lorelai. He saw her this morning walking down the street purposely crossing to the opposite side of the street before she got to the diner to avoid seeing him. This had been the routine for weeks. Finally the town had settled down about the break up people had stopped talking, they could see how hurt they both were, they didn't want to perpetuate the pain.

For the people of Stars Hollow they were watching Luke fall into an old pattern of admiring Lorelai from a far, and Lorelai was falling into a pattern of her own. She was working too much, not sleeping and avoiding everyone, even her own daughter. She didn't trust herself around anyone, she was to upset to emotional, she didn't want to just snap at someone.

As he watched her, he thought to himself as he had every day since he said those words to her in Doosey's that today was the day that he went to her. The day they talked things out, and the day that would put him in her arms again. He knew the truth, deep down under all the hurt and anger he trusted her and he knew that she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. It was his pride that kept his feet still and his heart heavy.

She walked into the Inn at half past eight, waved her hello to Michel and proceeded into the kitchen. Sookie had her bagel and coffee sitting on the counter ready for her arrival. As she entered the kitchen she simply said "Morning Sook, I will be in my office." Picking up her breakfast and walking back out as she had said every day since the break up. Sookie had attempted several times to further the conversation with her. But unless it was about Inn business, Lorelai wouldn't hear it. She just parked herself at her desk and did the books in the morning. Made the rounds in the afternoons and left by five to go home and do God knows what. No one had been allowed into her house save Rory for weeks and even Rory was lucky to get past the front door.

Sookie had had enough of the madness and attempted one last time to talk to her friend. She walked up to Lorelai's office door and knocked letting herself in as she did.

"What do you need Sook?" Lorelai said not looking up from her work.

"Lorelai, come on this has gone on long enough." Sookie said walking into her friends view.

"Sookie unless you have something to say about work or Davey or Jackson, I really don't want to talk about it." Lorelai said.

"You still have his picture up." Sookie said gesturing to the picture of Luke and Rory at her graduation on the shelf.

"That is a picture of Rory, Luke just happens to be in it." Lorelai said angry.

"Lorelai…" Sookie said.

Lorelai stood abruptly almost knocking her chair over and walked to the self in question picked up the picture frame and all and slammed it into the trash can.

"There dose that make you feel better!" Lorelai yelled.

"Lorelai!" Sookie yelled back. "Now I have known you a long time and I don't deserve to be treated like this, I know you are hurting but I don't think you should be locking yourself away like this."

"Thanks for the tip, I will consider it, now get out Sookie." Lorelai said giving her friend a look.

"No." Sookie said simply but firm.

"Sookie, damn it, you can't fix this, this time."

"I don't plan on fixing it honey." Sookie said touching her friends arm. "But you can't fix it by shutting yourself out of every ones life."

Lorelai sat down and sunk back into her chair.

"If he would just talk to me….I know I could explain…" She said her voice shaky.

"I know it hon." Sookie said putting her arm around her.

"He is so damn stubborn."

"Like looking into a mirror isn't it?" Sookie said.

"I know, I am stubborn too, but if the situation was reversed I would at least give him a chance to explain. How can he just throw this away Sookie…I…I love him." Lorelai said allowing her tears to fall again.

"I know you do. He will come around." Sookie said.

"See…see…that…that is why I am not talking to people, that is what everyone says…how do you know? What are you all psychic now? Did they put something in the water? Why would you say that?"

"Because it is Luke…he loves you Lorelai, like it or not he has loved you for years and that isn't the kind of thing you can stop on a dime. He loves you and he will come to his senses and he will come back to you. Just give it some time."

"It has been weeks."

"I know…you just have to believe in these kinds of things."

"I don't know if I do." Lorelai said after a long silence.

That night Lorelai went home and sat there in her quite house and thought about what Sookie had said. She thought about Luke and the kind of relationship that they had had for so long. She wished so much to have that back again, but she knew that her world had changed and she hadn't only lost her boyfriend but her best friend all in one foul swoop. In that moment Lorelai was filled with anger and hurt and courage and she picked up the phone against her better judgment. If she couldn't have her boyfriend back, she wanted to try to salvage a friendship. As she dialed she thought about what she was going to say…and as the machine on the other end beeped her thoughts became clear as she said.

"It isn't easy for me to make this call, in fact it may be the hardest thing I have even had to do, because you mean the world to me, but I need you to believe me when I say that anything that you think might have happened didn't. Unless you think that I had a few drinks with an old friend who was feeling low, then you are exactly right, and if you think that I mean it when I say that I am done with Chris forever, then you would be right, anything else and I am afraid you are wrong. I just feel like I need to tell you some things if we really are never going to talk again. I wish you every happiness in the world because, you are my best friend, I am sorry you couldn't find that with me, I wish that things were different…you know that…but I am thankful for the times we had, you mean the world to me…so I guess,…I wish more than anything else…I wish you still loved me. I guess that's it. I may always love you Luke, but I will never regret you." She said as she hung up the phone.

He sat in his big leather chair drinking a beer and listened to her message as he sat there in the dark. Her words cut him like a knife. He knew she was telling the truth, he knew she was crazy about him so what was he doing sitting there? He thought as he sprung from his chair grabbed his keys and ran out the door.

He parked in her drive and sat there for a while and watched as she moved from room to room turning on and off lights as she went. He sat there scared of the love in his heart as he watched her watch tv for a while, then read. She went to bed early, which she never did. He watched as her bedroom light turned on and then off quickly after. He thought of her laying there alone in her bed. Was she okay? Was she crying? Was she lonely? The questions consumed him as he watched her darkened window. He was so sure as he drove that he would just waltz back into her life tonight and everything would be fine. But now, sitting not fifty feet from his goal, he couldn't muster the courage to move a muscle.

The next thing he knew he was waking up with the sun in his eyes and a fear shot through him, he had fallen asleep in her drive had she seen him? He was happy to find her Jeep still parked in the drive and then remembered that is was Saturday and it was also six a.m. Lorelai and six a.m. Saturday did not mix. He let himself remember the one thing that she would wake up for on Saturday mornings, and wondered if she still might. If he was going to take this chance, he had to do it now, before he lost his nerve again.

As he turned the key she had given him in the door, it occurred to him that it wouldn't have occurred to her to change the locks. It was things like that, that made him love her more than he thought he could love anything. He stood at the bottom of the stairs for a moment and listened for movement. She wasn't awake yet and as he crept up the stairs slowly and quietly it occurred to him how badly this could back fire on him, but he didn't care, he had to try.

He stood outside the door to her room and watched her sleep through the crack it was left open. She always looked beautiful in the mornings, her dark curly hair not yet tamed for the day, her face free of make-up was to him more beautiful than it could ever be with. She smiled in her sleep, and he always hoped him might be in her dreams at those moments, and though it had been weeks he hoped that now.

He walked in to the room and around to the other side of the bed and removed his flannel shirt and shoes and lay beside her in his t-shirt and jeans. He wrapped an arm around her waist and she wiggled into him as she slept. He brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered her name.

She stirred a little but did not wake so he tried again. She rolled towards his voice and lay on her back, he thoughtfully ran his hand over her cheek and looked at her sleeping face. She opened her eyes and saw him and at first she thought she was still dreaming.

She ran her hand over his stomach and whispered.

"It's really you." She said.

"It's really me." He said smiling.

"Luke, I am so sorry…" She began.

"Hey…I know nothing happened. I trust you Lorelai." He said.

"Things just got so messed up." Lorelai said.

"You can say that again."

"It is the Gilmore way you know." Lorelai said.

"I have learned that." He said.

"But really, I am sorry…" Lorelai started again.

"Lorelai…" Luke said shaking his head at her as he slowly leaned down to kiss her. She was taken back, she didn't know what, or when or how he decided to come back to her, but all she knew was he was back. She kissed him and pulled him close to her. He pulled away when he noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks. He sat up a bit and studied her for a moment and then used his thumb to wipe away the tears.

"Why are you crying?" He asked her.

"I don't know…" She said as more tears began to roll, she sat up with her and passed her a tissue.

"Did I do something?"

"No..no..no…you didn't, you didn't do anything wrong, it's just, these past few weeks, I have really missed you, and I can't believe you are here, and I have missed you and I can't…"

"You can't what?" Luke asked scared.

"I can't lose you again Luke. I can't it is too hard, I can't do it. I love you too much, it hurts too much." She blurted.

"I love you too, and I am not going anywhere." He said hugging her.

"You sure? Cause thing can change, things happen…"

"Are you going to change?" He asked.

"No." She said.

"Then I am not going to change my mind. I love you. I am not going anywhere, this is it…you and me…there is nothing else." He said.

Lorelai smiled.

"You mean it?" She said.

"Of course I do, I didn't wait nine years to get you just to let you go." She ended the conversation with a kiss, laying back on the bed and pulling him close to her. His hands explored her body as though it was for the first time. She ran her hands through his hair and down his back as he kissed her neck. He broke their kiss and sat up on his knees and removed his shirt before laying back down on top of her and allowing his heat to warm her cool body. He lifted her up with one arm as he used the other to free her from her night shirt.

"If I had known you would be here, I would have worn the fancy underwear." She said with a laugh as he lay her back down.

"Crazy lady." He said as he began to lower his kisses down her body stopping at her belly button and working his way back up to her mouth.

As they kissed she worked to undo his belt from his jeans and they writhed together in the heat of the moment. Once she had removed the belt it was on to the task at hand, she made short order of her work and if there were an Olympic get-your-mans-pants-off team they would have made her captain. Just when she expected him not to be able to contain himself another minute he stopped and held himself above her on his outstretched arms.

"What is something wrong?" She asked worried.

"No." He said. "I was just actually thinking about how everything was right…Marry me Lorelai." He said seriously.

"What?" She said in disbelief.

"Marry me, marry me, be my wife." He said again.

"Well…"

"This would be the part where you say yes, otherwise I am in much to venerable of a situation." He said gesturing to his naked ness.

"Yes, of course I will marry you." She said with a smile. He leaned back in to kiss her as she wrapped her leg around his back.

"Just so Rory can sleep at night…can we just tell her you, proposed in bed…not while we were…" Lorelai said making hand gestures and kissy noises.

"Uh-yeah." He said.

"Good." She said wrapping her other leg around his back allowing for him to lift her up into a sitting position on his lap. She looked at him as they rocked slowly in their passion. As they both became breathless and their muscles began to ache from the movement, he laid her back down slowly but lingered within her. As they lay there, his body covering hers, the only thought between them was the fact that they knew this was it, they had chosen one and other and now fate was sealed.

As he rolled over and she nestled into the crook of his arm she playfully ran her fingers through the hair on his chest and looked at him.

"What?" He said smiling.

"Nothing." She said with a wicked grin.

"Lorelai." He said.

"Nothing, just…"

"Just what?"

"You are still worth waking up for." She said smiling.

"Glad to hear it." He said with a laugh.

"Glad to tell it." She said.


End file.
